It’s been many years since my Mistress compared me to a guard dog…
…newly reawakened, this submissive but protective instinct has surfaced in time for Folsom Street Fair.
Recently, I met a lovely Domme type member of our growing leather/fetish community. I was instantly drawn to her.
Generally being more of a Daddy figure or assertive top, my desire to drop to my knees in front of her was confusing yet intriguing. I kept it to myself for the first couple of weeks and as each day passed…each day that I yearned to know her…I hinted a little more. Finally after concluding that our interactions were welcomed, I took the next step in expressing my attraction.
I told her about a fantasy I had involving me giving one of my friends a blow job with her watching, coaching even, and ending with her penetrating me from behind using a purple strap-on. After I told her all this information, there was a break in our communication. I was nervous. Had I shared too much?
Eventually, her response to me was, “You’re sweet.”
“Really???!!! That’s all you have to say?” was my immediate thought… Later I took that simple 2-word statement as a win. She hadn’t condemned me for having naughty thoughts. She didn’t even act like it bothered her…still as a punishment to myself, I refrained from thinking about her sexually for the next several days…not really…instead of texting her anything of substance, I sent her an illustration describing one of the fantasies I had revealed, then later another image of my fantasy, servicing her…
The day after that, I sent her a selfie I took in my car before work. To me, the look on my face was almost surrendering… She sent a photo in return. It was a photo of her with little or no makeup and it appeared she had just gotten out of bed. Radiating youth and tenderness…again I noticed a desire to kneel before her.
I thought about this desire for a few more days.
We continued to converse about things unknown of each other. Concluding that we met for some “universal plan” due to our common acquaintances and the timing of our introduction, I shared more experiences. Eventually I asked a question which I was not prepared to hear the answer to. It wasn’t the answer to the question but the vulnerability she expressed in answering the question that cut into me deeply. I felt a fierce desire to protect and guard and be of service to and for her.
Then it came to me. The feeling of wanting to be at her feet… the desire to be submissive, was like the desire I see in my dog to protect and care for me. I thought about the concept for a few seconds. I could not describe my feeling any more precisely. I decided to let it be known that I was feeling this way.
She mentioned that she had recently lost her pup and I felt like I had made another huge mistake…(but wait, earlier when I thought I was mistaken in telling her about my fantasy…THAT ACTUALLY WORKED OUT OKAY)…so I asked if she could possibly teach me some things.
She said, “Yes!”
I was elated, and my heart thumped and tickled the insides of my chest.
I spent the evening reading about pup gear and blogs and events until I fell asleep.
The next morning was Day 1. Off to the pet store I went… I had no money for gear at this immediate moment but I needed something to signify my new self. A tag. Perfect, engraved with my name… maybe one day it will also have the name of my Handler…
Forty-eight hours later, back at work, what I remember is sunlight and napping in the park, leisure, wanting to be petted, and a content feeling that I was loved.
Pup space. I found it easy to get into and hard to come out of. Oh how I long to go there for long periods of time…oh how I long for her to come with me…
Arrrrrrrrf!
PerverseUniverse 